I Finally Sent My Resignation Today

Today, I finally did it.

After thinking about it for weeks, overthinking it, changing my mind, telling myself to just hold on a little bit longer, and wondering if I was making a huge mistake, I finally sent my resignation letter to my boss.

And tbh, I don’t really know what I’m feeling right now.

Relieved? Yes.

Scared? Also yes.

Very scared, actually.

When I first joined this company, the role that was discussed with me was more toward administration. But because there wasn’t really a proper position for that, I ended up under Operations Support.

At first, I didn’t really mind.

I thought I would just help with operations, learn things, gain experience, and do whatever I could.

But somehow, the job kept getting bigger.

And bigger.

And bigger.

My normal day starts at 6 AM.

I get ready, leave home around 6:30, arrive around 7, then start with the morning routine.

I print the JM Delivery Plan for that day, write down all the basket numbers, update the basket tracking board, send the production plan for the next day, send all the Sales Orders so the bakers know what orders are coming in, print the consignment invoices for the next delivery, and double-check everything again.

If there’s something wrong, I redo it.

The bakery side itself involves 7 bakers, 39 consignment clients, more than 10 direct sales clients, and sometimes more than 14 clients in a single delivery day.

Then around 8:20 or 8:30, I move to the front.

The coffee shop.

That’s basically another job starting.

Open the register, open the drawer, turn on the espresso machine and grinder, clean the place, wipe tables and windows, clean the floor, turn on the lights, put the OPEN sign, post the opening on Instagram, and then dial in the coffee.

Every morning.

18g in, around 35–37g out, under 30 seconds.

Just to make sure the coffee tastes consistent.

Then I become the barista.

Customer comes in, I serve them.

But while doing that, I’m still expected to help with operations too.

Then there’s Lettuce Eatery.

Another business under the same management.

I helped with the operations there too. I built the HR and payroll system using Google Sheets. I built the membership system using AppSheet. I handled the membership reports. I trained the baristas on how to use the system.

The membership itself already has more than 60 people.

Then there are POs, invoices, Sales Orders, checking consignment sales, reports, admin work, supplier-related stuff, and everything else that somehow lands on my desk.

Every month, I also help with Lettuce Ladder Championship.

Sometimes until around 9:30 PM.

And apparently that still wasn’t enough, because I also became a sales representative.

I represented the company at World National & World Asia Tapas Competition, Exhibition, Festival & Seminar 2026 and Grand Halal Bangkok 2026.

Honestly, I’m grateful for those experiences.

I learned a lot.

I met people.

I got to see how the business works from different sides.

Operations, sales, coffee, systems, admin, events.

I learned things that I probably wouldn’t have learned if I only stayed in one position.

But that’s also the problem.

I wasn’t really doing one position anymore.

For a long time, I already knew I was doing multiple jobs.

But I didn’t really have proof.

Then a few weeks ago, I told my boss that I was planning to resign.

And suddenly, they started hiring people.

Not one person.

Not even two.

They started hiring for three different job positions.

And that’s when I was like…

Wait.

So I was actually doing three different job desks this whole time?

Three.

And my salary never changed.

Damn.

That was actually crazy to realize.

Because for so long, I kept thinking maybe I was just weak.

Maybe I complained too much.

Maybe I just couldn’t handle pressure.

But no.

The work I was doing is now being separated into three different positions.

That tells me enough.

And I know, I wasn’t perfect.

I made mistakes.

There were things I was late on.

There were times I should’ve communicated better.

There were tasks I could’ve handled better.

I’m not trying to make myself look like the perfect employee who never did anything wrong.

I know my mistakes.

But at the same time, I also know what I’ve been carrying.

The workload kept increasing.

The pressure kept increasing.

The rules became stricter.

The expectations became higher.

But somehow, my salary stayed exactly the same.

There was also talk before that my salary would increase after six months.

It never happened.

And at some point, the pressure stopped feeling like normal work pressure.

I know every job has pressure.

I know every boss expects results.

I know sometimes you get criticized.

That’s normal.

But this started to feel different.

It started affecting me physically.

Mentally too.

I started becoming tired all the time.

Even when I wasn’t at work, my mind was still at work.

Thinking about tomorrow’s production.

Thinking about invoices.

Thinking about reports.

Thinking about what I forgot.

Thinking about what I might get blamed for next.

And that’s when I realized something.

I don’t want to get destroyed by a job.

I don’t want to keep holding on just because I’m scared of leaving.

And yeah…

I am scared.

Really scared.

Because resigning isn’t free for me.

Apparently, I need to pay a contract breach fee.

I still don’t fully understand how much I actually owe or how it’s calculated, but I was told it could be around BND 2,000.

And well…

Damn me.

I don’t have savings.

I don’t really have money sitting around.

I’m not resigning with a huge emergency fund and a perfect backup plan.

I’m basically leaving while knowing there’s a financial problem waiting for me.

And that part scares me a lot.

Sometimes I think,

Maybe I should just stay a little longer.

Maybe I should just tolerate it.

Maybe I should wait until I have more money.

Maybe I should just survive it somehow.

But then I ask myself another question.

How much longer?

Another month?

Another three months?

Another six months?

And what happens to me during that time?

At some point, I started feeling like maybe paying the price to leave is better than paying the price of staying.

Money can be earned again.

Debt can be paid slowly.

But if I keep forcing myself in a place that is already affecting me this much, I don’t know what condition I’ll be in later.

So yeah.

Maybe I’m making a risky decision.

Maybe future me will curse current me for putting myself in a difficult financial situation.

Maybe this next chapter is going to be hard as hell.

I honestly don’t know.

But I also know I don’t want to keep waking up every day feeling like this.

I don’t want to keep telling myself,

“Just survive a little longer.”

I’ve already been saying that for too long.

So today, I sent the resignation letter.

And for the first time in a while, I feel like I made a decision for myself.

Not for the company.

Not because someone told me what to do.

For me.

I’m still afraid.

I still don’t know what happens next.

I still need to figure out the contract fee, money, work, and everything else.

But at least now I know one thing.

I’m leaving.

And maybe that’s enough for today. 

Why I Started Writing Again

I’ve always had a lot of things going on in my head.

Ideas, plans, random thoughts, things I want to build, things I regret, things I’m proud of, and sometimes things I don’t really know how to explain.

Most of the time, they just stay there.

I used to write more. Not necessarily because I had something important to say, but because writing gave me a place to put all those thoughts. Somewhere I could slow down for a moment and make sense of what was happening around me.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped.

Life became busier. Work became more demanding. Responsibilities started piling up. There were new places, new people, new problems, new goals, and a lot of things that needed my attention.

And somehow, writing became one of the things I kept putting aside.

So this blog is me trying to start again.

I don't really know what this blog will become yet.

Maybe I'll write about work and the things I learn from it. Maybe I'll talk about technology, design, business, coffee, projects, places I've been, or random ideas that keep me awake at night.

Maybe sometimes it'll just be me writing about life.

I don't want this to be a blog where everything looks perfect.

I'm still figuring things out.

I'm still learning how to build things, how to work with people, how to deal with pressure, how to manage my time, how to chase the things I want without losing myself along the way.

There are things I've done that I'm proud of, and there are plenty of things I would do differently if I had the chance.

I think both are worth remembering.

So maybe that's what this blog is really for.

Not to show people that I have everything figured out, but to document the process of figuring it out.

Years from now, I want to be able to come back here and see who I was at this point in my life.

What I was thinking about.

What I was working on.

What I was afraid of.

What I wanted.

And hopefully, how far I've come.

I don't know where this will go yet.

But I think that's the interesting part.

So, this is the first page.

Let's see where it takes me.